Public Speaking

Last night was a success of sorts. I spoke in public (25 people) about my art and did really well. I wasn’t nervous. I pretty much read my speech, but was able to do it slowly, looking up at my audience much of the time and I think I appeared happy and relaxed. This is a total victory for me. I was able to get my thoughts about how my art came about and what it means to me. I got many complements that I will take to heart and use to build up my confidence.

I did have help.

This was one of our exercises, part of our graduation from the EDGE program developed by Artist Trust. The extra help may not have been fair, but I wanted to present well and after last Saturday’s practice run with my classmates, I felt it was the only way. During last week’s practice I had a total meltdown in front of my eight fellow students who I had been with for six Saturdays. After only one sentence my voice quavered, I stopped took a deep breath, but couldn’t get it together. I finally foraged on and got out some more sentences before bursting into tears. I stopped to collect myself again and again, and forged on. My classmates tried to be helpful; the old “find the friendly face and talk to it.” People who can get up in front of a crowd don’t understand there are no friendly faces; there is nothing but a black hole out there with an evil force, its total tunnel vision without the vision. Every nerve in your body is on fire and all you want to jump out of your skin and beyond. Your brain has shut down so long ago the only thought is “how -- why?” I did finish reading my speech, eyes never wavering off the page, tears streaming down my face, and finally being able to run to my chair.

This had to be uncomfortable to watch – at least I hope so (or else these people are sadistic). All I could think was - I had a tiny kernel of confidence before the practice session and now I had less than none. How would I get through the official presentation? For the rest of the class, the drive home and throughout the night, I would continually burst into tears at the very thought of the experience. Then the light bulb came on in my head – I have drugs! For years I have had know anxiety issues. I have pills for fear of flying, this is the same thing, they just smooth things out. You’re not drugged (sleepy, dulled) just calm, the nerve ends aren’t buzzing like high tension wires on crack.

It totally worked, I almost had fun, and I could see how some people like to be up in front with all the attention. How nice that must be, I’m envious. I’d rather speak without the “help” and I’ll work on it, but what was most important for me was to be able to say what I had to say as well as I could.

Exhibit at Cafe Solstice

Only 6 days until my Fiber 19 group hangs our show at the Café Solstice for the month of March. I know it’s just a café show, but we’re doing it. Our group came together last year as we took the Fiber Arts class through the U of W extension. The exhibit will be very eclectic. We all in different places art-wise in experience and commitment, our use of fiber in some way will be the only unifying part of this exhibit.



I’m continuing to make my topographical maps out of dyed burlap. The idea for the one in the exhibit started with a glimpse of a photo in a science magazine, I’m not sure what it was suppose to be, but as I recorded the image days later in my sketch book, to me it looked like a river with rocks in it. My colors again took over and in this case the river part looks like it has had some kind of bad industrial accident, so that’s why it’s called “Acid River”

A guest at EDGE – Lanny Bergner

During our class on Saturday we had a guest – Lanny Bergner who showed images of his art that covered almost 30 years. http://home.wavecable.com/~lbergner/

I loved Lanny’s artist statement: “By using hands-on processes of coiling, fraying, twisting, wrapping, glueing and knotting, I transform industrial screening, wire, silicone and monofilament into organic constructions. My desire is to create works that appear to have grown into being. I love the natural world and am constantly inspired by its beauty and infinite varieties of form. This, in combination with my fears, quirks and joys, results in works that celebrate the wonder of it all.”

It was great to have him explain how he creates his work and how it has evolved over time. He uses wire mesh for much of his work and because of this material; it has also lead him to be accepted into the fiber art and basketry worlds, which made his presentation more interesting to me. When he told about his making art, I loved the imagery of him sitting and shredding the wire mesh or twisting the pieces of wire together in “small repetitive motions.” He says this process very meditative and gives him time to think, but sometimes he twists wire does in front of the TV, maybe so he can be around the family(?). I could put myself in his place because I sort of do the same thing with my burlap; quietly shredding, stitching and constructing the 3-D parts for hours and hours, so sometimes I need to work in another part of the house to be near Bob or just be in a different place.

Recently I have been thinking a lot about an artist I follow on-line that is producing 20-some pieces in 7 weeks for a show, or the gal that does 50 pieces a year, or the guy who welds something in 2 hours and calls it art. Not that it has to take a lot of time to call it “art,” but I’m suspicious of “art” that can get “cranked out” in a short time, I would tend to put that in the “craft” arena. But in listening to Lanny, he said his work takes a lot of time, period; I don’t think he regrets that or really even thinks of changing it, it just is. He didn’t choose to create something that was labor intensive, that’s just what came out. Somehow this calmed my inner voice that was saying “you’ve got to find a way to make stuff faster, you need to get MORE done.” No I don’t, it is what it is, and that is the process for me. All I can do is keep working, steadily moving forward.

Grants and EDGE

Another Saturday with the Artist Trust’s EDGE program.

This week it was all about grants, we looked at different programs/types of grants, compared the sources we found on-line, and went over our GAP grant proposals. Our instructor went over the need to do our research to find out if a particular grant was a good fit for us, what the grant requirements were and how we should follow them exactly, no more – no less than what was asked for.

Why do we want to apply for grants? Recognition, money, support and development of your work, psychological, connections, and networking.

What type of grants are there? Nomination only, open applications, unrestricted funds and restricted funds for specific projects.

Why do these people want to give money? They want to support you, your work supports their vision/mission, and they have money, it fits their vision to support project.

So with all that in mind we went over our proposals. Because this is an Artist Trust program, we all wrote proposals for a GAP grant. We did find out that 75 – 80% of the proposal is based on the work you have already done, only about 20% on the actual words. Basically Artist Trust wants to support artists they think have promise and this grant (for up to $1,500) is to help fill in a need (like equipment, time, space, or project) to help the artist grow.

It was interesting to see what my other classmates wrote and to see how many of them really didn’t get it. They didn’t seem to read what they were suppose to do, or didn’t comprehend it and didn’t seem to understand what to ask for or how. Some didn’t feel “worthy” or what they wanted wasn’t important, or felt “funny” about asking for something for themselves. I felt the same at first, but then I to junp in, use it as practice – it was an “assignment” I didn’t really have to submit it. I was surprised at how well my proposal faired compared to the others. It at least covered all the areas needed, people seemed interested in it and it really only needed some writing help, tightening up some areas maybe making a few other things more clear. So I felt pretty good about that and who knows maybe I really will submit it.

EDGE training continued

Saturday was another day of Artist Trust EDGE training; what I like to call a course of study about the business of being an artist. In the morning we continued to talk about portfolios and looked at a few examples and critiqued one of our classmate’s photos. Some were ok, but even the better ones we had comments on and our instructor indicated that they were of bad enough quality that it could give a juror reason to give it a pass – it seemed a little harsh to me. She said the photos in “American Craft” magazine should be our benchmark, -- perfection – if that is true, you absolutely need a good professional photographer experienced in taking photos of your kind of work to get anywhere. More $$, no snapping pics with your own digital camera. You would think they could get past a little imperfection and see the work, but I guess there is so much out there, they don’t have to.

We also went over out artist statements. I brought in the one I did last spring for our student show which I was quite happy with, but with more people looking at it I can see that it’s too long and I need to take the bio information out of it – more to do.

The afternoon was looking at grant proposals, concentrating on the GAP grant that Artist Trust awards. Mostly I think because it is somewhat attainable, small amount, and they give out quite a few each year, but there are also more applicants applying each year as artists find out about it. After discussing some dos and don’ts we looked at a number of past grants that had been funded, sometimes we shook our heads at what they gave money to, but apparently 80% of the award is based on your work samples, not what you’re asking for.

It was another tiring, but good day of information.

Saturday EDGE class

Saturday’s EDGE class was a whirlwind of information. We have three sessions on the portfolio, Miriam Works presented two of them (morning and afternoon). We looked at some good and bad examples and discussed the why and what of each of them. We also went over what goes in the portfolio – great images, cover letter, artist statement, resume, optional bio, and supplemental materials. It was fun to pick apart the bad cover letter examples – and these were people who have done well in the art world – so it’s either not super, super important, or their art was so fantastic, the words didn’t matter, or these were first efforts before they figured it out.

Then we got to go through our portfolios, such as they are at this point. Considering we’re taking a class on how to figure this all out, for those that had something show, they were all ok. The biggest thing I need to fix is to get better images. One person who knows what my stuff looks like said the photos don’t do them justice. So I guess I’ll put that on the list of things to do (and pay for) along with business cards, art cards and more portfolio parts. (Along with getting more art done.)

I also need to spend time going around getting to know more artist and art people, the more people who know who you are and what you do, the better chance you have of getting a show and moving to that place we all seem to strive for.

Throughout the day there were also all kinds of tips and helpful hints, websites to look at, things to do, artist talks to hear around town – who has the time to do all of this? This Saturday we’re suppose to bring copies of our artist statements to review, I have something already that I did last spring in class, so I’m covered on that assignment, but I should probably look at it again and make some notes or updates.